- That it was the moment.
- That the night was the peace I’ve been wanting to drink.
- That the slow passing time took forever.
- That the smell of the cold trees felt like home.
- And that what we shared was magic.
- But that it had nothing to do with you.
- That if it were someone else I’d feel the same.
- That it was about him all along.
- That I wanted to be saved.
- And so we came.
- And so we’re gone.
If you are waiting things out, waiting for me to calm down, or giving me a time off because you believe I am raging mad:
Then stop. I am not angry. I have gone past the point of finding reasons to be angry with you because 1) it only gives me unnecessary stress and I have lived long enough to understand that stress can actually kill me, 2) I was never equipped with a great tolerance for holding grudges against people even though I may seem like I do, and 3) I am tired and there is no more room for me to be anything else. I really am tired. I am tired of all the things I have to deal with because of this and because of you. I am tired of having to contain all my feelings so that the people around me will not have anything against you. I am tired of crying only when I am alone. I am tired of pretending that I will be fine because I know I will not be fine and that this will go on for much longer. I am tired of expecting. I am tired of settling for what I do not deserve, for what you want, and for what you are comfortable with just so we do not fight. I am tired of fighting, making up and fighting again for the same damned reasons. I am tired of loving you and hating you at the same time. I am tired of trying to understand who you are and why you are the way you are because I have already lost myself in the process.
If you have already given up:
A word will be very much appreciated. Thanks for nothing.
Today I will revive this blog.
I don’t know exactly when my fussiness with skin care products started being a reason my mother hates buying me beauty stuff, but since then I’ve been very concerned about the chemicals I put on myself, especially with the products I use on my face. I absolutely hate unnecessary breakouts because I can’t leave zits alone. I won’t stop picking on them until they pop (and eventually bleed). I’m then left with a mark that takes weeks to vanish (but thankfully it vanishes).
To start the year right, I decided to go back to one of my favorite beauty brands, Human ♥ Nature. Department / drug store face care products don’t fit my taste anymore (not that they don’t work because they do, it’s just that I’m tired of them and my skin shares the same feeling), and although they claim to be free of harmful chemicals and derived from natural ingredients (which is why I bought them in the first place), they don’t seem to work for me as well as H♥N products.
This lovely little box with lovely little things inside arrived today. ♥
I bought: A tomato facial wash, a strawberry scrub, a strawberry hand and foot salve, a moisturizing day fluid with 15 vitamins, a sunflower beauty oil, a tomato face toner, a chamomile feminine wash, and a tinted lip balm (on back order.)
I’ve already tried using the tomato face toner and the day fluid earlier today and boy was I surprised with how it felt on my skin! The toner felt very refreshing and it didn’t sting, at all. The day fluid feels very light on my face, but I felt how moisturizing it was. I kept touching my face because it just felt really really good. It smells a little funky, but I don’t really mind the smell since it goes away after the fluid is absorbed into my skin. I’d actually rather have it smell like nature than artificial perfume.
My face care regimen: I do all the necessary cleansing at night using a mild facial wash. I use warm water to open my pores before going to the actual washing, then I rinse with cold water to help put them back in place. I then proceed to toning, and then finally deep moisturizing using H♥N’s sunflower beauty oil. In the morning, I usually only use water to wash my face while I bathe, then I tone, moisturize, and protect. I scrub my face once or twice a week, depending on how much I’ve exposed myself to the busy outside world.
Since H♥N has yet to cook up a natural sunscreen, I use my Nivea sunscreen on days that I have time to spend a few minutes waiting for it to dry, On the days I don’t, I use the Royale Beauty pinkish glow cream, which claims to provide some sun protection. Both products provide a good, workable base. I only need to line my eyebrows, color my lips & cheeks with a tint, and set with loose baby powder, then it’s another day outside for me. I’ve always considered my skin color to be on the light brownish end, but because my color glows and lightens whenever I do my “make-up”, I’ve had people ask me what products I use, or why my skin has lightened by a shade or two, or when it was that I last saw the sun. Heh.
Overall, I am more than happy with the purchase I made! I can’t wait to try the other stuff I bought and see how well they work for me.
Curious? You can go and check their site here —> humanheartnature.com ♥